


Flashbacks of my Father

by noirsparker



Category: RWBY
Genre: Angst, I can't write for shit forgive me, I highkey hated Mercury but now I don't, bdbdbdbd, i finished this in the fucking ER, which. is dumb sjdjsjd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 21:45:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17589020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noirsparker/pseuds/noirsparker
Summary: Mercury didn't need family. Mercury didn't want a family. Family meant pain, and death, and forcing yourself to be something you're not. Family meant hiding your humanity so you didn't get murdered, and doing things youregretted to keep yourself safe. Family was bad news.





	Flashbacks of my Father

Another flashback starts, and he pushes it aside like he always does. They hurt too much. The emotions hurt too much. He wasn't supposed to have them. He can hear his father calling him weak, telling him that if he let himself feel, he'd die. 

"N-No. Shut up!" He hadn't meant to say it aloud, let alone shout it the way he had. He heara a gasp and the sound of something clattering to the ground. Emerald. He'd forgotten she was there, too lost in his own pain to register the words she was saying. She looks shocked, hurt. Before he can apologise, she wipes the pain off her face and walks brusquely out of the room. Guilt stings him. He isn't used to that. 

"Remorse is just another sign of weakness, Mercury. I'll beat that out of you. Or I'll kill you. It's up to you which." 

She'll get over it, right? No. This is Emerald. She'll bottle it up and let it eat her. He should leave it. He shouldn't care. He doesn't care. 

 

He cares. Fuck. 

 

Why though? Why should he? Sure she was there when Cinder saved him. Sure she's fought with him ever since. Sure they kind of get along. But she's irritating. She's presumptive and aggressive and she idolises Cinder. She gets on his nerves.

 

Like a sister. 

 

Sister? Where had that come from. Mercury didn't need family. Mercury didn't want a family. Family meant pain, and death, and forcing yourself to be something you're not. Family meant hiding your humanity so you didn't get murdered, and doing things you 

regretted to keep yourself safe. Family was bad news. Emerald couldn't be like a sister to him. She would hurt him if he considered her family. That's all family does. 

.....

What if that's not true? What if, just this once, he could let her in and not get hurt? No. That's bullshit. He knows better. Still.... he should check on her. Maybe she can't be family, but he does care.

 

He hovers outside her door, hand raised to knock. What if she's mad? What if she's crying? He can't have hurt her that bad, right? God, he's an asshole. He lowers his hand and instead speaks softly.

"Em... I'm" Apologies and Mercury are not firm friends. He doesn't know how to say sorry and mean it, even though he so desperately wants to. He sighs. "Can I come in?" The door opens. She doesn't look upset.

"What do you want, Mercury" She's mad. Okay. Mad he can deal with.

"I was an asshole. So cmon, punch me. I know you want to!" He's teasing now, hoping to at least extract a smile. He can take a fist to the jaw to make her happy. 

"I always want to punch you. I'm not gonna do it when you expect it." The door slams in his face. He flinches and falls back. This time the flashback takes over before he can push it away.

________________________

"You stay out here until you learn to listen!" He hears his father lock the door, and tears begin to fall. They freeze on his face. The snow is up to his knees. The only light available comes from the window, and his father pulls the curtains once he sees the boy sitting in the glow. He's shivering. He knows he has to calm down, before the Grimm find him. Too late. He manages to fight off a Beowulf with a rock, something no 10 year old boy should even have to imagine. He's unbelievably lucky to find a knife he'd lost in the forest last week just as an Ursai corners him. He climbs a tree and attempts to sleep up there, safe from at least the wingless Grimm. It's colder though, and morning isn't any time soon. He makes it to sunlight before he realised what his father wants. Dragging the body of the ursai to the house, and holding his knife in plain view, he hammers the door until his father opens it. "Let me in, old man. Or I'll kill you the way that bastard tried to kill me." Marcus smirks.

"Good. You're learning." 

___________________________

Mercury gasps as he comes to. That night. That's why he hates the cold so much? He had buried the painful memory so deeply in his mind that he'd forgotten it happened entirely. He didn't even realise he was crying until he heard Tyrian laughing behind him. The Faunus' taunts werent something he was willing to put up with right now, so he stalked off without a word.

 

The next flashback came in a dream. It was a groggy memory, still so unclear, so unsure. That was his mother's face...wasn't it? Hadn't she died when he was young? Young. Yes. Young being 13. He couldn't remember if he had plunged that knife into her or found her like that. Either way he felt a scream rip from his throat, and suddenly he was awake, screaming in real life, Emerald standing over him.

"Mercury! Shut up! She'll hear you" She? Salem. Of course. She had been in a bad mood and warned them against making too much noise last night. She wouldn't care why he was screaming. She would only care that he'd screamed. 

"Everyone leave. Now!" There she is. God she's even scarier when he's angry. Mercury bottled that fear, if she identified it, she would use it to ruin him. He didn't even get a chance to explain. 

 

His screams didn't stop for a long time.

 

He couldn't move, couldn't speak. What she'd done had been worse than his father. Worse than anyone had ever treated him. And suddenly, he remembered. 

__________________________

It was his knife. He had done that to her. He was so young, already so devoid of feeling. Yet he cared for her. And he knew she was hurting. To his mind, this was saving her. Protecting her from his father's abuse. Protecting her from this hell he lived in. He had never regretted it, never seen the act as anything but righteous. Now though. Now it hurt. His mind raced through it over and over. He had killed his mother. The only person who had ever showed him kindness. She was dead because of him. He hadn't saved her, he had destroyed her chance of salvation. And now the memory would destroy him.

__________________________

 

Would he still be Mercury Black after this? Could he still be Mercury Black after this? Not even he could answer that.

 

 


End file.
